“Well, here it goes; my testimony is only because of Christ and Him dying for me and the lost and sick in the world. It is only because of God’s grace and my yielding and obeying Him that I have been able to stand and testify.
“I was married 17 years and was never so lonely; my ex was a good provider, but we never found love in our relationship. It was both of our faults, not understanding how to love properly. We built a business, or should I say an empire, based on money being my ex’s god, and I had the 3 boys I had to keep out of my ex’s way. He never spent quality time with us, and the boys behaved terribly due to his lack of attention. I grew angry and bitter and drew far away from him as the marriage was ending. Around the same time, I discovered that my 2nd son Joseph, age 14, was using pills and then progressed to shooting heroin. Nicholas, my first son, soon started using oxycodone and then heroin. My 3rd son, Vincent, at the age of 15 started using pills & then heroin, 10 years after his brothers started.. So, from 2003 thru 2015, all 3 boys were addicted to IV heroin. All three dropped out of school due to not functioning. Between all 3 boys there were more than 15 detox’s, rehabs, personal families trying to help, people praying, police, principals, arrests, motor vehicle accidents, fines… By the way, my ex would not help, never answered the phone in any crisis, told me to handle them my own way, and that I was causing them to be this way. It was horrible and no one understood why he wasn’t helping. Then he started using crack cocaine, lost his business, ended up in jail, asked me to put my house up for bail, tried to manipulate me, hired a private investigator to prove me unfit, stopped paying child support, and did not provide health insurance anymore. I was so fearful and cried constantly; each boy was worse off daily. I found 50 heroin baggies under the bed; I also found needles often. My neighbor was robbed; my friends were robbed; I had police knocking at my door telling me my son was in the hospital beaten up from a drug deal; a dealer followed me in my car; I found my son shooting up in my bathroom; my youngest told the school principal; Department of Youth and Family Services arrested me; state troopers broke my doors in, looking for guns. I installed a security system on my home because I was afraid of my children and their friends. It kept getting worse. Then came the grandbabies. One granddaughter was born addicted. It was horrible to see her wean off of opiates, requiring a 2-3 month stay in the hospital. While I was hoping & praying, worried about her growth and future, I also wanted to die, as it was easier than watching the boys kill themselves. It went on and on; anyone who knows my children and me will tell you it was horrible to watch; no one could help them.
“I had such guilt trying to figure out what I had done to them for this to happen. 3 boys in addiction is hard to wrap your head around! Who has this happen to all of their children?? For the past 15 years I have cried, been depressed, lost my job, and was broke. I tried to look like I had it ALL under control, but I was in so much pain physically that I was going to admit myself to the hospital. Looking back now, I may have had a nervous breakdown or heart attack. I found out about Love Them to Life, the support group for mothers whose children are in addiction, when my 2 sons were at America’s Keswick Colony of Mercy and started going, hoping for help. The group has been a life saver for me and others. We support each other and there is no condemnation. We are healing and growing because we all understand each other’s pain as a mom and a human being. Looking back, God has restored me daily and all I had to do was ask and believe; He always came through, in His timing.
“Today I am set free and will continue to stay steadfast in God’s loving arms and believe my children will also be set free.
“The Scripture that comes to mind often is 2 Timothy 1:7: ‘For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power & love & a sound mind’ (mature, wise, responsible, peaceful, calm).
“John 8:32: ‘If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.'”